Teresa Molter at Brookhart Solutions

Questions to Ask Yourself

2010-04-18T14:46:00.000-07:00

For anyone who knows John Maxwell, you know he is a leadership expert.

Reading his latest article in Success Magazine, I came across three questions that everyone should ask themself to get good feedback. This should be done not only in your professional, but personal life as well.

What should I stop doing?

What should I keep doing?

What should I start doing?

The answers to these questions allow you to begin to self-assess. Begin to determine your effectiveness as a professional, a parent, a friend, a spouse.

Don't wait to find out that for the past year, your boss or your wife has been annoyed with what you have or have not been doing. Be proactive and ask for that feedback now so you can make any necessary changes.

Taking control of the situtation gives you an opportunity to take responsibility for your actions.

It is very easy to fall in the trap of blaming someone else for something that you had the ability to respond to. Take control of what you can by asking for feedback!

Generosity

2009-11-30T11:55:00.000-08:00

It's been quite some time since my last post. I haven't forgotten, but have tried to!

I'm not a real big fan of writing. It's time consuming and painful for me to do. But, I realize I have so much to say to people and it only makes sense to share it here.

Although the economy may be suffering and people are not able to give financially as they once were, I have seen an incredible amount of generosity right here in my back yard. People are giving of their time . . . something that is even more valuable than money.

It is so easy to do small things that make a difference to people. If we can model this to our children, just imagine what it would be like if acts of kindness and generosity become habitual.

Hold a door open for someone
Look at someone in the eye and smile and say hello
Give change to the person in front of you at the supermarket when you see them searching for it
Bring the garbage can from the curb for a neighbor
Put the morning newspaper on your neighbor's front porch if it's thrown on their lawn
Pick up and throw away a piece of trash that is on the ground
Visit a nursuring home and share some baked goods

This is just a list I came up with while sitting here. Obviously, there is so much more you can do.

I'm not saying anything you haven't heard a thousand times. But, what do you DO when you hear these things?

TAKE ACTION NOW!

It's so easy and quick . . . do something nice for someone TODAY and tell me about it!

Are you helping or hurting your business?

2009-09-27T08:39:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how much there is to learn about the business world.

I mean, as a teacher, all I knew is how the school and classroom run, that's about all! I never needed to learn "new math" to become a better teacher. I obviously participated in professional development, but it was all within the context of teaching.

As a small business owner, I realize that learning never ends and there are endless ways to grown your business.

After a year, there is one thing I learned that is essential if you want to be successful . . .

Build quality relationships built on mutual respect.

Funny enough, that was how I became such a great teacher, doing the very same thing. I never took any business classes, but that was something that just came natural. I didn't think there was anything in common with my past and current profession, but I was wrong.

One thing I notice in the business world is that I can always count on someone trying to sell me something . . . whether it be a product, a service or a way of thinking. Some of these people - I don't even know.

Why do they think they can do this??

They want business NOW!!

As I have said before, I am blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people. And through those relationships, yes, I have decided to "buy" what they WEREN'T selling to me.

Why, because I trust who they were and had respect for what they did and how they did it.

Although people go into business to be successful, not everyone is ready for the price they have to pay to gain that success . . . TIME.

Take the time to connect with others and build mutual respect and trust . . .

Just see what comes your way then!

2009-07-11T09:55:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how things can change in a year.

I wasn't long ago when a family car trip consisted of quality time talking and listening to the same radio station. I used to love that bonding time.

On a long car ride to visit family, my husband listened to his customized radio station on his Blackberry, my daughter watched her own DVD with her headphones on and my son played a game on our laptop computer.

It really is amazing how technology has changed the way families spend their time together.

When my son has a friend over, the first thing they do (try to do!) is run down to the basement to play the latest Wii game. Forget about playing outside when the weather is nice. If I let them, they would never look at each other as they'd be glued to the tv to see where Mario was headed next.

Today, he told me, "Mom, I'm just not the kind of kid that likes to play outside. I like to play the Wii".

How absurd!!

What happened to the days that kids where outside after they eat breakfast and played all day long until you called them in and listened to them complain.

Technology is great, but it's like it's a crack addiction. We need an intervention!!

Gloom and doom?

2009-02-18T06:09:00.000-08:00

There is so much negatively today, especially surrounding the economy.

Why don't I feel it??

I'm just amazed at all the wonderful people that are "out there".

As I continue to grow my business, I have found that I have surrounded myself with like minds. People who focus on success and want to give back. I can't tell you how blessed I feel to have found so many extraordinary people who are willing to share their experiences in hopes to help me in my journey.

I have reached out to the "untouchables" and they have responded. . .

Exexutive coaches who choose to give me their expert advice because they care
International speakers who try to guide me where I want to be
CEO of a company sharing her advice
Regional marketing directors who share tips and techniques
Television "star" who is willing to share his experience working with the same
population as me

What better way to put yourself out there than to connect with the people you admire who have done what you have done. Learn from the best.

Of course there are so many more people locally who have given their time to me one on one. It just amazes me what happens when you put yourself out there and are open to receive what's waiting for you.

So if you are watching the news every day and reading the newspaper about all the gloom and doom surrounding us, surround yourself with something different.

Surround yourself with like minded individuals. Put yourself out there and see what comes back!!

Is your business doomed for failure?

2009-02-02T05:47:00.000-08:00

I have found that being out on my own can be be a little scary and exciting at the same time.

Starting my own business was scary . . . I didn't have any formal training in business. Statistics show that many small businesses fail after three years. Was I going to be part of that statistic?

No way!

I enjoy learning new ways to improve my business. Although I'm an expert in my field, I have a lot to learn about running a business. To me that's where it gets exciting. I am not being formally educated at a college or university anymore, but I am continually educating myself. That's the key.

I go to the book store and library to find books to help me learn about various topics. I belong to associations and organizations to be part of a group and learn from others. I am part of an amazing business group where we learn and help each other grow. I participate in a mastermind group where we share our thoughts and aspirations with one another.

Here is a quote from Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich . . .

"The person who stops studying merely because he or she has finished school is forever hopelessly doomed to mediocrity, no matter what that person's calling. The way of success is the way of continuous pursuit of knowledge."

I welcome the challenge ahead of me. I know there will be temporary defeat, but as long as I treat each one as a learning experience and persist, failure can not compete.

Will your small business be here in three years? I know I will!

How do you breath?

2008-12-15T18:52:00.000-08:00

So you need a little help getting rid of your stress . . .

Getting enough oxygen into your body is essential in order to remove toxins from your blood. Insufficient oxygen increases muscle tension and anxiety. Abdominal breathing elicits a relaxation response.

Below are some tips to develop deep breathing which will in turn reduce generalized stress.

How do you breath??

To determine if you breathe with your chest or abdomen, place your left hand on your chest and your right on your abdomen. Your pinkie finger should be just above your naval. Take a deep breathe and notice which hand moves more.

If your left hand moves, you are breathing shallow with your chest.
Chest breathing results in air being sent to the upper lungs where there is less capacity which results in shallow breathing.

If your right hand moves over your abdomen, KUDOS TO YOU . . . you are breathing abdominally, taking in sufficient oxygen with each breath! Abdominal breathing elicits the relaxation response we need to be able to control how we handle stress.

I need help!

To practice breathing abdominally, imagine your body is a balloon. Take a deep breath through your nose. With each inhalation, imagine you are blowing up a balloon. The air comes into your body and your abdomen (the balloon) begins to expand outward. When you exhale, the abdomen (balloon) releases the air. You should try making each inhale/exhale come through your nose.

Relaxation exercises must be practiced regularly to gain the benefits it has to offer. Reading about the techniques does little good unless you put them to use. To begin to form habits, start out spending 10-15 minutes twice a day practicing these exercises.

Make this time a reward for yourself ~ look forward to it.

Is it time to call the doctor?

2008-12-15T18:46:00.000-08:00

Do you get sick frequently? The American Institute of Stress estimates that 75 - 90 percent of all visits to primary care physicians are for stress related problems. There are many signs that stress is causing physical as well as mental and emotional disorders ~ muscle aches, low back pain, insomnia, headaches, heart palpitations, irritability, frequent colds, trouble learning new information, change in appetite and jaw clenching are some ways stress manifests itself in your body.

But wait, before you panic, all stress is not bad!

Stress occurs when there is a challenge in front of you. Positive stress occurs when you react to something that creates pleasure or excitement, these are stimulating challenges. Negative stress occurs when you perceive the challenge is difficult, dangerous or painful.

What do you do to control your stress?

During a response to stress (flight or fight response), adrenal glands secrete corticoids (adrenaline, epinephrine, nor epinephrine) which inhibit digestion, reproduction, growth, tissue repair and immune and inflammatory systems. This could have negative effects on your body.

Relaxation response usually turns off this stress unless you accumulate many smaller stressors, in which case it could lead to stress related diseases. Research shows that many people hold their stress in a preferred system. For some it manifests itself in muscle tension and fatigue, for others it may affect the digestive track.

Know your body and how it reacts to stress. With awareness and attitude you can help to overcome much of the stress that attacks your body.

Who's in your inner circle and why?

2008-11-22T13:59:00.000-08:00

Do you like who you’ve become since you have started that new school? Since you’ve gotten that new job? Since you’ve become part of that group?

Remember your parents telling you not to hang around with that crowd or that you couldn’t go to that friend’s house? Why?

According to Jim Rohen, self-made millionaire and successful author, take the average of five people you associate with and that represents, in a nutshell, who you are!

I like people. I think people, by nature, are good. I seek to find the good in others. I find myself wanting to emulate those who have become what I want to be ~ those who are nourishing, positive and uplifting. Others’ attitudes are contagious. Why spend time with those who will bring us down. If you do not like who you are becoming, then take a look at who you are associating with.

I choose to associate myself with people who are inspiring and motivating. In surrounding myself around these people, I can “catch” their positive attitudes and change how I feel about myself and events around me.

What are the qualities you admire most in others? Take a look at the people around you. Do any of them possess these qualities? Are they in your inner circle of friends? Who are the successful people in your school, team or job? Have you ever asked them the secret to their success?

When you associate with others who are successful, you can “try on’ their strategies and see if they work. If not, move on and try another!

Choose who you become by choosing those you spend time with.

You are in control!

2008-11-19T11:42:00.000-08:00

We don’t have control of everything in our lives, so that which we can control should coveted!

Events occur throughout each day that are out of your realm of control. Although you can not control how or when something may happen, you can control how you will react to it. The events themselves are neither positive nor negative. It’s our reaction to them where we assign these perceptions. Take the following events for example . . .

You’re stuck in traffic . . .
You missed your plane connection . . .
Your boss lays into at you at a meeting . . .
You’re laid off from your job . . .
You lost a business deal . . .

Although you can’t control when these circumstances occur, you can control of how you react to the situation. You have a choice. You are in control of your response.

Possible outcomes to situations are a direct result of the situation and your reaction to them.

Although being laid off from your job or losing a business deal may originally be perceived as completely negative, ask your self some questions to find out how you can turn your negative perceptions of these events into something more positive. Remember, you have control over your response.

Perhaps losing your job will give you the push you needed to take a step outside your comfort zone. Maybe you will open a door that will allow you pursue your passion.

Things happen for some reason, but unless we are open to looking at how we can view these as something positive, we will never know what lesson we were supposed to learn from a particular situation.

My head feels funny

2008-11-18T07:28:00.001-08:00

So, you say your child doesn't "do drugs"? They must be good kids . . . you don't' have to read this . . . WRONG!!

How do we stop young kids from ending their lives early? As a former high school teacher and parent of two young children, I have decided to define a drug as "anything that makes your head feel funny". Think about it, when kids are young, they like to spin around in circles ~ why? . . . it makes their head feel funny. Have you been to a baseball game or high school pep rally where kids (or adults) have to spin around a baseball bat then try to run straight? Why can't they? Because they are dizzy ~ their head feels funny.

So, I guess its okay to make your head feel funny??

"Good" kids don't do drugs do they? What is something that kids ages 9-16 are choosing to do instead? Play a game ~ the choking game , no big deal right? They won't get in trouble because its not a drug or alcohol, it's just a game. WRONG!!

Kids are playing this game because they think it's just that, a game. I urge you to read more about it. Most parents of children that have played this game and "lost" (died) are not aware of this until it's too late.

There are so many things that kids do that parents are not aware of. Please, be aware of this before its too late. View the Games Adolescents Shouldn't Play video at GASP video

Find a penny, pick it up!

2008-11-04T15:26:00.000-08:00

My good friend and business mentor, Barbara Giemza, told me a great story that I wanted to share. . .

Years ago, a friend (now husband) was discussing with Barbara whether or not he should leave his job in corporate America to begin living his passion and working on his own. As they were discussing this, they found a penny on the ground. Barbara, a believer in fate, picked it up and thought that was interesting. As they continued walking and talking, they found another one! She commented on it and picked that one up too. Barbara didn't share this, but thought it meant something. After finishing their conversation, they each went their separate ways. On the way home, they each found another penny. When they spoke that evening, she told him she beleived that there was a message behind the findings. . .

Do you wake up each morning looking forward to the day ahead? Do you know you're in the right job/career? Are you passionate about what you do?

Barbara's message was simple, if you follow your passion, the income will appear as easy as finidng a penny on the street.

Firm, but not too hard

2008-11-03T10:33:00.000-08:00

What do you do at an interview to make sure you stand out among the others? Wear the right clothes? check Research the company? check Review your resume for errors? check Take out all your body piercings? check

As soon as you walk through that door, you are being judged and your body language tells a story! What is something that is unique to you?

. . . Your first impression ~ a good handshake!

A first impression is made in less than 30 seconds. Like it or not, that's all it takes. Many people do not realize that to change that impression, it takes 20 additional contacts to be made with that person before their perception of you changes.

Let's not be reactive and try to fix a poor first impression, let's be proactive and teach young people at an early age how to create an image of themselves that puts them ahead of many others. Many people perceive those with a strong, solid handshake to be more confident and have better interpersonal skills.

What if you're not confident? You can fake it if you have to!

No one needs to know if you're nervous or not, it's simple . . . when meeting someone for the first time, maintain eye contact, shake his/her hand firmly, but not too hard and use their name, or introduce yourself. It's that easy!

Remember, you have the power to set your own stage ~ make it stand out!

Ready, set . . . . . go??

2008-10-29T18:01:00.000-07:00

When did I become an Educational Consultant? I thought that day was January 17th 2008. That was when I decided that I was going to make a change. I was going to follow my passion by empowering teens with the skills they need to be successful in life. I talked a good talk. I got my hands on every book I could that would help me form a business. I went to seminars, read stories about avoiding the pitfalls of starting your own business, read motivational books, subscribed to blogs, etc.

I was getting everything ready so I would know exactly what I was doing! Does this sound familiar? You know how it goes. "Okay, I'm ready to formalize the business . . . oh, I have to fill out that paper work first. Okay, I'm all set this time . . . but, what happens if I don't get as many people interested in my service that I hope to. Maybe it's time to research this a little more." Blah, blah, blah.

Does that sound familiar?

Ready, set . . . . . . .okay ~ ready . . . . ready . . set . . . . JUST JUMP!!!!

I found that I was waiting until everything was just right ~ things had to be perfect. Well guess what, in order to succeed, you need to learn from your mistakes, and in order to learn from mistakes, you need to make mistakes. To make mistakes, you have to put yourself out there first! So when did I become an Educational Consultant? The day I put myself out there with no net to catch me. I decided to resign from my full time teaching job on my birthday, July 10th 2008. I was talking to my mother on the phone and continued to talk about what I wanted to do, but not knowing how to make it happen. When I got off the phone, I turned to my husband and said, "I really want to resign from teaching". He said OKAY.

What?? Are you serious, just like that you say go for it? I came up with all the reasons it might not be a good idea. I was playing devil's advocate, but he was in my corner and told me to go for it.

I can't begin to tell you how I felt inside on that day. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I was about to begin my dream. How's it going? . . . stay tuned for more!

Until then . . . ready, set GO!

To teach or not teach . . .

2008-10-28T10:29:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my first blog entry! I realized that I have a lot to say about educating today's youth, so I decided to create a blog where we could have discussions about such topics.

Parents, is it important for your child to . . .

Acquire effective communication skills
Develop positive relationships
Develop an understanding of emotional intelligence
Take responsibility of their thoughts, attitudes and actions to affect the outcome of certain events
Create measurable goals and objectives to reach those goals
Develop a vision for their lives
Learn presentation and public speaking skills
Express gratitude toward othersBuild self-confidence and self-esteem

As a former teacher at both the public and university level, I realize the benefit of teaching to the whole student. We need to empower each student to reach their fullest potential.

Students need more than just what’s taught in the classroom to be successful in today’s world. As adults in today’s work force, we need leadership and effective communication skills to keep up. Often times, these are skills that young people do not have coming out of high school. Comprehensive personal development is not built into most high school curricula. The training that is available is often only given to a select few. All teens should be involved to enhance their personal development and be competitive in today’s world.

My website at http://brookhartsolutions.com/ shares more about my feelings on this subject.

Check out my linkedin in profile at http://www.linkedin.com/in/teresamolter and read my success story at http://www.shapesofsuccess.com/T_MolterSuccess.html

Until next time . . .

Teresa Molter